No longer a Keeper

All my life I’ve been a peacekeeper. I was the kid that would do anything to keep others from arguing and fighting. I remember witnessing my grandma being physically abused and pleading for it to end. I tried anything to make it stop but it rarely did. As I grew older, I learned to flex, bend, and shrink to keep peace. To say and be who others wanted and liked to keep the peace even if it did not resonate with my truest self. I often felt and sometimes still feel caught in the “in between” between multiple parties.

I tried to maintain peace by avoiding conflict. I avoided conflict between people, between me and others… I avoided conflict within myself. I did not ask the hard questions, I did not question the perspectives, and I did not speak up all in the name of keeping the peace. As I process and reflect on past experiences, I realize that avoidance to keep the peace has only led to an artificial peace that has done more harm than good.

Walking on eggshells to keep peace did nothing but enable ego and left me with cuts and scars on the bottom of my feet that are supposed to lead, to love, and to carry me through life. Eggshells are sharp… and I knew that but I was still willing to try to keep the peace even though there was no real peace to keep. As I grow in my relationship and knowing of God, I am experiencing a peace I cannot explain. When you begin to experience the real thing, you are able to spot what is counterfeit.

I am called to be a peacemaker.

To say the hard things in love and do the hard work to come to resolutions with others and within myself.

I am called to be a peacemaker.

To create peace where there may not be any. To call out and cast down the false narratives that try to cloud the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. To speak truth that pushes toward reconciliation and leaves no room for the lies of the enemy.

We are all called to be peacemakers.

To do the work within ourselves that allows truth and vulnerability to lead. To relentlessly pursue true peace for ourselves and for others. To let go before we get dragged. To remove ourselves from situations, people, and places that are harmful to us.

Transitioning from peacekeeper to peacemaker requires us to move from avoidance to action. It’s a call to get off of the ground you may have been laying on for so long, allowing people to walk all over you and stand up- where the only choice others have is to SEE YOU or move around. It’s a call to model peace by speaking to or addressing tension even if it means disrupting a larger agenda.

BUT before we can do all of these things in a way that honors God we must first face ourselves, hold ourselves accountable, own our own mess, and cultivate a peace that is overflowing. It requires deep love to work for peace in service of reconciliation.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Matthew 5:9

I am called to be a peacemaker but my experiences of being a peacekeeper along with revelation from examining myself have helped me to see my place and calling in all of this. In what ways are you being called to be a peacemaker in this season of your life?

In Love & Light,

Jaralyn Roberts